According to the documentary Dark Girls: The Story of Color, Gender, and Race (which everyone should watch no matter how much melanin their skin possesses) deep-seated biases and attitudes about skin color – particularly dark skinned women, exist outside of and within the Black American culture. And based on my own experience growing up as a little black girl in the United States of America, I can attest that this phenomenon is shamefully and painfully true.
The reality of this secret (which is no longer much of a secret) and the disgust and anger that I feel about color and race in this country didn’t arise within me until a conversation came up at work in the teacher’s lounge.
I know. I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering what the hell I was doing in the teacher’s lounge, which is often called a cess pool of negativity and where teachers congregate to eat, complain, and vent their unhappiness about school board policy, students, parents, and anything else that pops up. And I ask myself, “Monique, what the hell were you thinking?” Well, I’m trying to be more sociable and when you’re an introvert that often appears to be an extrovert, you have to swallow your fears, your shyness, and grin pretending that you enjoy being amongst people that sometimes make you feel uncomfortable. Besides, when you’re told that you’re as sociable as Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes, and you don’t realize that the comment is actually an insult, your efforts at “fitting in” increase exponentially.
Basically, the conversation came up when another teacher shared the horrible news that a 14 year old girl had been raped by a 16 year old boy in one of the local middle schools. Another teacher had the audacity to express that some girls this happens to aren’t “completely innocent” of being assaulted and that their behavior had something to do with the assault. In other words, he blamed them for being raped.
Dr. Who, would you kindly give us the use of your Tardis so we can manipulate time. You know, so that way readers who didn’t see the offense in the above remark can reread it. The rest of us who realized this utter stupidity the first time have bloody eyes.
Well, I’m done with trying to “fit in”.
I’ve been mocked as a “defender of justice”. I’ve been stupidly and unfairly asked to explain WHY things happen in Black society or culture as if I’m the spokesperson for said culture. And politely, I’ve told these people where to take themselves. I’ve been downright PC.
Well, I’m done with being politically correct, damn it!
I’m going to tell it plain in this “rant/epiphany”.
- You’re a Racist if you Entertain the Fallacy of Race just like a sadist enjoys inflicting pain, if you even entertain the idea of different races as if human beings are boxed in separate species like dogs and cats! There are too many people in this country – in this world – that believe they are not racist. However, even individuals who claim not to be racist often possess racist attitudes on an unconscious level. Race is a social construct. There is NO scientific fact that supports it. So, if you’re one of those people that check off what race you are, then yes, you are a racist and need to stop sippin’ the damn Kool-aid. (More on that later in a soon-to-come blog post).
- Black Women and Latinas are more than a Big Butt and a Smile. We’re not hypersexual, exotic toys. We’re just like any other women who deserve and demand respect.
- Silence=Agreement During the teacher’s lounge discussion that made me lose my appetite, I learned that these men (particularly white men) think that teenage Black and Latina females (ages 14 and younger) are tempting older men with sex. “Come on, these girls DON’T LOOK like kids. They look so much older – 18 or 19 at least. And the way they act makes men want to engage them. So, it’s their fault if anything happens. They’re not COMPLETELY innocent.” And no one, other than myself, countered this “man’s” disgusting opinion. No one. Perhaps, they were shocked. Perhaps, in their disgust they couldn’t speak. Or worse, perhaps they agreed with him because he spoke expressly about Black and Latina girls and not the white girls who they represent. If someone speaks about these kinds of things and you don’t speak up against it, then you’re implying that you agree! Don’t be afraid to speak up because often no one else will!
ALSO, just because these young girls LOOK mature on the outside does NOT MEAN THEY ARE developmentally ready FOR SEX! The phrase “if there’s grass on the field means play ball” is the outcome of a twisted and perverted mindset. The appearance of sexual maturity does NOT give a man (or woman) the right to even entertain the idea of having sex with children. Do I really live in a nation of damned perverts!? If this person had the sense to think about what’s going on inside the minds of these brown-skinned girls (which is also happening now to peach-skinned white girls) then he’d realize that the media has not only oversexualized children, but also brainwashed girls into thinking that their only worth is in their bodies. There is MORE GLORY in these beautiful children than spreading their legs for some f-ing pervert! And how can it be clear that he’s not bringing this destructive mindset into his classroom to the students he teaches on a day-to-day basis. It makes me sick!
I need to take a breather.
*Drops the microphone*
One thought on “You Might Be Sexist If . . .”
Thanks for this really cogent commentary on the intersection of sexism and racism. As women we need to stand together against rape culture and emphasize that no female human is ever responsible for her own rape.