Grammar Ninja or Grammar Nazis?

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According to the Urban Dictionary, a grammar Nazis is someone who knows the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. Wikihow supplies a more detailed definition: one who secretly eyes the usage of language at any given moment and are prepared to tell you about it.

And worse? According to knowyourmeme.com, a grammar Nazis refers to someone who habitually corrects grammar and/or spelling mistakes made by others in conversation both on and off.

Word purists and protectors have gotten a bad rap and have been slapped with the name of the most hated groups in the world: the Nazis. I won’t linger long on that murderous part of history and if you feel so inclined, have at it on your keyboard, search, and learn all you can because the purpose of this post isn’t to linger on, well, . . . that.

So, now for some Hip Hop-esque entertainment. Drop a beat!

I’ve been called a Grammar Nazis, but in reality I’m a Grammar Ninja.

Lean in closer, give me your ear, Ima gonna lay some combo conventions on ya.

More than a pretty face, I’ve mastered the skill of lyrical espionage.

Looking for Nicki Minja? Better go elsewhere, dear.

Why? I’ve got style, finesse, and can conjugate verbs with the best of the best.

My spoken stealth attacks sneak upon like silent thunder. I spit metaphors and similes so vivid and sweet that you don’t have to wonder. Jedi mind tricks? Please! We’re past that realm! We’re off to explore different dimensions – Dr. Who, my copilot is at the helm.

Look elsewhere for twerkin’ or other sexual innuendos, I don’t bend over and touch my toes – I’m more than a big rear and can stimulate minds fully clothed.

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick, reminisce over the use of vatoc or rhapsodic.

Words are my playground, figurative language is my sword, endless images pile up like gold in Smaug’s dragon hoard.

Have little patience for those who don’t appreciate the difference between to and too.

I chuckle over homophones like ewe and you.

Sometimes I’m taken off guard by the proper use of lie and lay,

But, I don’t let that get in my way, it’s time for revision, and I jump back into the fray.

Grammar Ninja, not Grammar Nazis. Please, oh please, get it right.

Anything else is unacceptable and trite.

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